>> Disaster Movie (2/10)

Disaster Movie

Let me save you the money.  The following is a complete list of all of the references that Disaster Movie makes.  The film does not attach any meaning or jokes to the references, so I won’t either, in keeping with the spirit of the film.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Cloverfield, Amy Winehouse, High School Musical, A Night at the Museum, Hannah Montana, Alvin & the Chipmunks, Justin Timberlake, Speed Racer, Kung Fu Panda, Iron Man, Hellboy, Twister, Head On (Apply directly to the forehead), AT&T, Juno, Beowulf, Michael Jackson, Enchanted, Step Up, Step Up 2:  The Streets, Jimmy Kimmel’s Matt Damon song, Jessica Simpson, No Country for Old Men, Dr. Phil, The Love Guru, Flava Flav, Sex in the City, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan, Hancock, Superbad, Incredible Hulk, The Dark Knight, Prince Caspian, and Jumper.

I think that’s it.  I can’t remember if I skipped any.

Here is an example from the trailer for this film of the kind of jokes you can expect:

Iron Man shows up and says “I AM IRON MAN!”.  Then, a cow falls on him.

Here is another example, not shown in the trailers:

Prince Caspian is standing the forest, sword aloft, when Hayden Christiansen’s character from Jumper teleports onto Caspian’s sword, prompting Prince Caspian to say, “Hey, it’s that guy from Star Wars!”

All of the dialogue in this movie consists of actors announcing who they are dressed up as and then leaving, or other characters pointing out who the other characters are and running away from them.  It’s not a movie; it’s a costume catalog.

Still doubtful?  I went from “I don’t like this one bit” to “I hate this and I want to stab this movie” with the pre-ending credits musical number, wherein the entire cast sings a song that allows them all to come back and say what character they are supposed to be.  Yes, after watching a film that conisted entirely of announcements (“I’m Batman!”, “It’s Hannah Montana!”, ad naseum), I was punished with a song made up of characters singing who they are dressed as.

This avoids a 1-point rating because it was shot with actual cameras and lights, and because I thought Nicole Parker’s Enchanted parody might’ve been amusing in a different movie.  She plays the princess as a drug-addled homeless sewer dweller, and it is quite literally this movie’s only actual joke.  It’s a bit of a tough call to give it that one extra point, esepcially in light of how willing this movie is to get extremely ugly with women to try for a laugh.  It’s a vile exercise in junk culture worship, a humorless, misogynistic, dull revolving door of unnecessary reminders of every movie that has been released in the past year.

2 on a 1 to 10 scale

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2 Comments

  1. Past year? Shit. Try past few weeks. The fact this movie made money at all is depressing enough, but it is nice to see that it opened out of the top five and brought in only around 5 mil. I will not be happy until I see one of these flicks lose money. I really don’t think I want to know someone that laughs at these movies.

  2. this rating is a decrace though it may have not been a true movie is an outstanding comedy and deserves some respect. And though the points or jokes in the movie are somewhat ridiculous they are viously somewhat funny and for the pure sake that the movie was funn and making fun of real people or things, is what made it the real money.


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