>> Resident Evil: Extinction (John’s Review, 6.5/10)

Resident Evil Extinction PosterThey probably won’t stop making Resident Evil movies, as long as Milla Jovovich can still lift her legs above her head (for karate, you pervs!) and Paul W.S. Anderson still feels the need to be a screenwriter.  This third part in the series, under Highlander creator Russell Mulcahy, adds an apocalyptic spin to the franchise.  It’s nothing like the video games that inspired the films, but fans of the games will go to the cineplex anyways, hungry for more tales of zombies and the shadowy corporation Umbrella.

This is connect-the-dot filmmaking, and the dots are as follows:  an attack by hundreds of zombified crows, an attack by super-zombies created when a new anti-virus is injected into those already dead, and an attack by a cool villain straight of the games, that I had forgotten we hadn’t seen in this series before.  The lines connecting these action dots are a half-baked tale of Alice the Super Clone Chick (Milla Jovovich) and a handful of cardboard characters (Oded Fehr, Ali Larter), scooting around the Nevada desert, traveling from one action set piece.to another.

It’s paper-thin and unnecessary,yet, still, somehow, it ends up being the best film in the franchise.  It’s got an original setting and look for a zombie film, it’s never boring, and the undead have never looked better than they do here.  These guys are really rotten.  Just don’t ask how Umbrealla managed to get all the super-zombies into matching jumpsuits, and you’ll be fine.  This is the very definition of “turn-off-your-brain” entertainment.

Someone please get Paul W.S. Anderson to stop writing these.  There is some pretty cool stuff in this film, and none of it is dialogue-related or character driven.  Man can not live on Milla weilding custom twin machetes alone, and if this series is to continue, I’d like a little meat with my potatoes, please, thanks.  I don’t want another Resident Evil, but I know from the ending of this one that I’ll get one.  It’s like a pair of socks for Christmas–not bad, but you never asked for it.

6.5 on a 1 to 10 scale

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3 Comments

  1. Well, is it like getting socks when you’re actually expecting something like a Nintendo? Or, is it like getting socks when you didn’t really expect anything at all? I didn’t expect much from this so I guess I just answered my own question, with it probably falling under the latter situation. I’m assuming as long as I don’t expect a Nintendo then I should be just fine with socks…

  2. I thought the first movie was true to the video game. I forgot about the matching jump suits. yikes. If you never played the games then you……… will like STILL think this is a boring movie.

  3. I saw the one before this one on cable. It was SO BAD but it was fun to give it the MST3K treatment with the family. When that methodical, heavy-weapon-toting zombie showed up, I was all “here’s an idea, let’s take a zombie, and slow him down.” It was funny.


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